Memories

“Can it be that it was all so simple then, or has time rewritten every line? And if we had the chance to do it all again, tell me, could we? Would we?”
-Barbara Streisand

Prosser, Washington, 1970

Have you ever found yourself lost in memories, wishing to relive moments from your youth? What if you had the chance to go back in time?

Were times really simpler? Or is it because we were young and blissfully unburdened, we were free of adult responsibilities. It was fun to be young; our bodies were strong and healthy, living was easy. We didn’t know what the future would hold, or if we even had much of a future.

For me, a time that floats in the recesses of my mind was when I was traveling up and down the West Coast on my motorcycle, alone. The year was 1970; I was 18. No home, no job, no responsibilities, and almost no money. Just me and my bike.

Visiting friends, making new ones. My life was in limbo. Not knowing where I wanted to be, or even who I was .

Kris Kristopherson sang, “Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose.”

I was okay with that.

Was there a similar time in your life?

It seemed like a time of lower stress, but was it really? People my age grew up with the threat of nuclear war. We were taught to hide under our desks in case of a nuclear attack. Certainly, those desks were bombproof, right?

The Vietnam War seemed to offer certain doom for young men. It was for over fifty-eight thousand, with physical and mental scars for hundreds of thousands more.

Perhaps times seemed simpler because it appeared more tenuous. There might not be a future, so the hell with it. It seemed it was going to go badly one way or another.

The attitude was fatalistic. We rode motorcycles without helmets. Got into fights for little reason and flaunted the law. Prison, shootouts, motorcycle accidents, nuclear war, or the Vietnam War — we didn’t care, it was live fast and took our chances. There was a certain reckless freedom in that uncertainty.

 Good versus bad was more clear-cut. The movies had bad guys and heroes. For some reason, we didn’t care if we were bad guys; that’s what the newspapers called us.

Perhaps our sense of freedom was really just running away from the mess of society.

The sixties were a time of rebellion, so we rebelled. It seemed like the thing to do. After a near-fatal motorcycle accident, my own path diverged sharply, and suddenly, visions of military service faded, leaving me adrift.

Soren Kierkegaard said, “Life can only be understood backwards; but it has to be lived forwards.” Or maybe more to the point, Bob Seger: “I wish I didn’t know now what I didn’t know then.”

When I was a biker, I remember guys saying, “I was born in the wrong century. I could have been a gunfighter in the Old West.” I always wondered how long they would have stayed there once they found out about the living conditions. Or if the first time they got in trouble, a mob might give them a necktie party.

We were invincible. Or at least we thought we were.

Would you be young again if you could? If you had to give up everything you know and have learned? Start all over? I want to keep all of my knowledge so I can avoid all the mistakes. If it’s not my way, I’m not doing it. As if we have a choice, but it’s fun to play with.

If you could go back in time, which time would you pick? If you could go back in your life, what age would you choose? What would you do differently? How would you change?

So many mistakes could have been avoided. Maybe I could have seen that car coming at me. It would have been easier to stay out of jail with some insight. Certainly, in another time around, we would know to tell people we love them more.

There is a cute movie called Midnight in Paris with Owen Wilson. He is a writer, unhappy with his life, and gets a chance to go back in time to 1920s Paris and rub shoulders with the likes of Ernest Hemingway, F. Scott Fitzgerald, and other famous people of that era. He eventually figures out that the best time of all is right now.

Eckhart Tolle said, ‘If you asked your dog, what time is it?’ He would say, "It’s now.”

Once you figure that out, everything comes together. We can be as happy as your dog.

We were so young that we didn’t appreciate it until it was gone.

Writing my books has me spending a lot of time with my head in the past; still, I wouldn’t change anything. The memories, the mistakes, the triumphs, or the love. It has all been worthwhile. Would I do it again? I’m happy to know I don’t have to. (Or do I?)

As we navigate life, it’s the memories that shape us, reminding us that every moment—good or bad—is a lesson. How do your memories shape your present?

A parting thought: Yesterday is history, tomorrow a mystery, today is a gift; that’s why they call it ‘The Present.’

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